


Dirty Little Secrets

by Kakasakufangirl



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint has a dirty mind, Dirty Jokes, Dirty Thoughts, Humor, M/M, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 21:52:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13467309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kakasakufangirl/pseuds/Kakasakufangirl
Summary: Clint was just walking down the hallway, minding his own business when he hears Tony choking on something."Are you okay there Tony? You took along time to answer me." Steve voice was light with amusement and concern."You know I don't talk when my mouth's full..." Was his reply as Clint nearly died from shock.





	Dirty Little Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Who hasn't walked in on the back end of a conversation or even eavesdrop on and heard something that didn't quite sound right?

Clint whistled as he strutted down the hall. He was currently looking for something to do that wasn't paperwork or mission related as he hoped he could go home.

His wife was concerned about his absence of late which prompted him to explain why he wasn't there to fix the bursted pipe he said he'd get to. That and the fact that he also had a lot of making up to do, by that he meant pleasuring the woman.

If he was not needed here then that meant he was free to go home.

Clint knew that it wouldn't be that simple as today felt like a screw you kind of day. A day to troll the archer and professional assassin so much that he'd question his sanity.

Clint was just walking down the hallway, minding his own business when he hears Tony choking on something. Concerned he walks in the direction of the noise and hopes that his teammate isn't dying from one of his inventions.

He creeps quietly towards a door which he assumes where the threat maybe. The archer hears a second voice and relaxes his body slightly.

"Are you okay there Tony? You took along time to answer me." Steve's voice was light with amusement and concern.

"You know I don't talk when my mouth's full..." Was his reply as Clint nearly died from shock.

If he was a braver man he wouldn't burst in on the spot and demanded that all activities be stopped but unfortunately that was a mission for a hero. He was off duty and currently not in the mood to see his teammates getting more action than him.

This couldn't be what he thought was happening. Now Clint could tell you himself that he had a dirty mind by nature but that was a given. Yet he couldn't help but wonder if anyone but else walking by would've thought the same.

There was the loudest gulping sound, making Clint cringe, before Tony spoke again. "Fuck, that went down the wrong pipe."

"I can't believe you swallowed that." Steve teased as there was more movement in the vicinity. They were probably shifting their positions around in a non sexual manner.

Clint couldn't believe that Steve was even talking about it. He just assumed that he wasa prude even when it came to sex.

"Do you need some water?" The blonde asked concerned.

"Nah, I'm good. I've done things like this before and this wasn't that bad." Tony's voice lowered an octave as if he was whispering sweet nothings towards the blonde. "Just keep this between you and me. Do not tell Pepper and you'll be rewarded."

Okay now they were getting into a red zone where things didn't sound so innocent. Dirty mind or not this didn't sound like any thing else but sex.

"Are you just going to stand there and look pretty? Get over here, I'm ready now." The billionaire stated with an authoritative tone. One that the soldier couldn't have possibly refused.

Yep, they were definitely fucking. The sad part about it was Clint was too busy listening to them he didn't bother to ask himself why he was still listening.

There were a few moments of silence as the two did something before he heard Tony grunt. "There now, stick it there."

"Okay." Was all Steve's response. He sure was allowing the guy to boss him around for someone who screamed leader and commander of the Avengers but Clint had met people like the blonde soldier who wanted to be dominated sometimes.

"Tony, it's stuck."

It was at that moment that the life just drained out of there archer. The two had to have been new at this to not even get tis part of sex right.  _Getting stuck inside your partner wasn't something he'd dream about on a daily basis._

"It's stuck! How can it be stuck? You just put it in there!" Tony sounded as if he made one of his many judgmental faces he did when Steve failed at a simple task.

"It's just stuck, okay." Steve grunted as he applied some force behind it. Or behind Tony as Clint would add.

Nat would kill him if she knew he was eavesdropping on the team again.

The billionaire huffed. The sound of things being tossed to the floor entered his ears as the two most likely moved to a different position. "Well don't yank it out! You're gonna hurt yourself, alright. Chill."

"How can I chill when I can't get it out? Plus, I don't want to hurt you by keeping it in."

"You're not going to hurt me just stay still for a little bit and don't move." It was probably best for them to not move or do anything that could worsen the situation. "Try hitting it from the side."

They needed help. Professional help from a doctor or someone who could separate them.

There was a loud, reparative banging against a metal object as the two were grunting loudly. Tony was letting out silent curses as the banging continued, literally and physically.

"Fuck!"

One of the shouted out as another object clashed into the floor. "I'm sorry, I am so sorry!" Steve apologized purposely.

"Clipped my leg, fuck. Take it easy next time." Tony joked as he breathed in and out. There was silence between the two before the next round of banging began. "Come on, it has to be almost out now."

The banging sound got louder and so did his teammates. The grunting was haggard, as if their continuous noises wasn't enough. Clint felt a bush rise to the cheeks as he tried not to imagine what was happening between those thing walls. They were really going at it.

A low moan escaped from Tony's lips as panted heavily. "Tony! I think it's, it's almost there." Steve cried out. "Just a little more. Come on!"

A loud thump rang against the wall across from hiss. It was almost as if something was thrown across the room during the timeof their love making. The sound that followed it was a clattering of body's.

It was alarming enough that Clint had to see for himself what caused the two to become so disoriented. Heerushed in not thinking of the possibilities that lie behind the door or the consequences. The archer had to make sure, for his sanities sake that they were okay.

When he first walked in he noticed that the lab was a mess like he'd imagined but not necessarily in the way he did. Nether were his two teammates who both where sprawled out on the floor, clothes still in tacked. Steve was lying against the back of the couch, looking as if he went ten rounds with Thor.

Tony, on the other hand, was lying in between the man's legs as if he'd been pulled on top of his lap. The billionaire looked confused as of why he was there himself. Quickly he climbed up before regarding the archer.

"This isn't what it looks like." Tony said as he offered a hand down towards the soldier who frowned.

"What the hell were you two doing in here?" Clint asked.

"Long story,but I'll shorten it. Okay so, I had been finding these subatomic isotopes, which one is currently stuck in the wall right now." He stated pointing out the rock hard cylinder that crashed into the wall and was currently sticking out.

"I needed to keep them preserved long enough to conduct an experiment without damaging the samples so I decided to freeze them." He pouted. "Once again, the cap got stuck and I couldn't get them out. Steve was helping me"

Steve stood up rubbing the back of his head. "Where did the container go?" He asked. His blue eyes staring at the other two.

All Clint did was point while Tony turned him around. "Right there embedded in the wall. Now it's gonna take forever to get that out."

Clint just stood there in bewilderment. "Okay so what was all that stuff about you not talking with your mouth full?"

"What?" The blonde asked confused as he past Clint and wondered over towards the isotope that given him hell for the past few minutes.

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"You, you, you said that you don't talk when your mouth is full! You were chocking." He protested quiet loudly. He swear he wasn't a perverted person trying to make sex jokes out of everything. "That and for Steve not to tell Pepper about something!"

It took a moment before Tony realized what exactly he was talking bout before he sent bird boy back to his perch. "Yeah, I was chocking because I was drinking an expensive glass of tequila. It went down the wrong pipe."

"As for the don't tell Pepper bit, I just didn't want mister noble over there to reveal that I've been drinking again, in moderation."

The slight accusatory tone in Tony's voice sounded genuine so Clint didn't worry further about it. "What about the part where if Steve doesn't tell he'll get rewarded bit?"

"Hawkeye, shield. He's creating me a new shield." Steve said as he peaked over his shoulders at the archer.

He was still investigating that damn wall and acting so calm about this situation.

"Why? What did you think we were doing?" The soldier asked as he turned towards Clint who'd practically resembled a tomatoe by now.

"Uh, well it sounded as if you two were..." He trailed off not wanting to embarrass himself more.

The two caught on quickly before turning away from the other. Now they all resembled some kind of red fruit or vegetable. "My mistake." Clint uttered.

With some annoyance Tony spoke. "You have got to stop creeping on people, dude."

The sound of a portal opening behind them, closer towards Tony's rang of technology was appearing as Stephen Strange emerged from it. He looked unpleased as he looked down at his feet.

"Look Tony,I got the rarest dark cherry flavored condoms you asked for. Now can we please get back to it!" The man had no idea that there was another person in the room. Clint didn't want to know exactly what 'it' was so he refrained from speaking.

The sorcerer's eyes widened as he looked from one face to the other. "Bad time huh?"

Once again they were met with silence before Tony turned towards his other teammate. "...That's exactly what it sounds like...but really Clint it was your fault for eavesdropping on us in the first place."

"I'm leaving." Was all the archer could say as he marched out the door.

"Fare enough." Tony said with a smile before shrugging.

Clint swore to himself that it would be the last time he ever decided to listen in on someone's conversation.


End file.
